I read an article
this morning and it got me really thinking about some of these situations; especially
the situations in which women are involved.
See as much as I like women (I should, shouldn't I?), I really seem to have a fear of
them. The Tommy Boy scene seems to happen to me quite often. I’m not sure why,
but for some reason when it comes to women I become very…….well, awkward. For
instance, when I was in college and worked for an office supply chain I can
remember a girl coming in the store that looked like Yasmin Bleeth. 
She came to the counter for some help; a counter that I was standing behind. I have no idea what she asked for. Why? Well because when she came up to me and asked me her question I instantly locked up. I could feel my body temperature rise, and could feel my sweat glands kick it into high gear. I am sure that my face changed to the brightest shade of red. And I don’t know exactly what I said in return, but I’m pretty sure it sounded a lot like this: “whah, whah whahwhah, whahwhahwhahwhah!” I was a mess!!! Bad thing is that I still get like this. If I am attracted to someone, even in the slightest, I get anxious and start to freak out, losing all control. Not really, well, yeah kind of….I don’t lock up, but I still freak out inside. I never really learned how to properly pursue a woman. The sad thing is that the only time I have ever had any luck at doing such a thing was when alcohol was involved. If I was drunk, I could talk to anyone (but really, who can’t?).
But…..I am done with that. Alcohol is not the big part of my
life that it used to be; Christ has taken over. And I don’t want to rely on the
things of this world to get me through those “awkward” situations, I want to
rely on Him. Furthermore, I don’t want the fear of rejection to hold me back from
the “bigger” things that He has in mind for me.
Fear can be a viscous monster. Whether it’s the fear of
rejection, the fear of failure, or even the fear of success; fear can stop us
from doing the things that we were meant to do. Even if the step we take doesn’t
end the way we had hoped, it doesn’t mean that we weren’t meant to take it. The
more we learn to overcome fear to go after the things we want (whether we get
them or not), the more we will be able to overcome fear to go after the things
that we need (to fulfill His design). We shouldn’t let fear become a habit, but
instead make a habit of overcoming fear.
Although it would seem that this is about my pursuit of a
woman (and I guess it still is) it is really much more than that. This is about
going after ones hopes and dreams, the desires that are placed on our hearts.
Sometimes there is only one way to find out where that desire comes from, and that’s
by chasing it (desire). But we will never find out if it was supposed to be if
we are hidden in the shadow of FEAR, unwilling to pursue. Whether it's a career, an idea, or a "someone", It's officially time to stop hiding and to start chasing.
