In the last few weeks I have been fortunate enough to learn
a lot from my church and several books about the importance of marriages and
how to make them what they are supposed to be, a gift from God. One of the main
things that I have gathered from all this information is the importance of saving
things (being pure) for marriage; things that in this day and age are usually not
saved. To be honest, nothing was saved for my previous marriage and
unfortunately because of that, it failed. To think back on it makes me realize how
much more special things are when we wait for them. When we were a child we would
wait all year long for our birthdays and for Christmas for that special time in
the day when we would open our gifts. The anticipation grew bigger and bigger
every day as it drew closer and closer. If every day was Christmas what would
we have to look forward to?
I was talking to a friend about this issue this morning and
it made me reflect back on when my children were born. When we found out that
we were going to have a baby, we weren’t able to just make the decision and
then, BAM…..here’s your baby! No, we found out that we were having a baby and
then we had to wait another 7 or 8 months before we were able to hold that
beautiful little thing in our arms for the first time. Not much different than
waiting on marriage……is it?
A lot of couples decide not to find out the sex of their
baby until the moment that the doctor pulls the baby out of the womb and lays
it in mommy’s arms. While others would like to find out the sex the day they
find out that they are pregnant. Some people want to see their baby in 3D/4D,
while others are happy just to hear the heartbeat. This is similar to the impatient
feeling that we have when we first start a relationship with someone. We want
to find out as much as possible about this person……AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Sometimes this means finding the heartbeat; having those deep conversations and
enjoying the fun things in life together. In other cases unfortunately, temptation
takes over and we decide that we want to see the full picture in 3D/4D and we
have premarital sex, move in together, and/or maybe both. As a society we have
this idea in our heads that we have to ‘test drive’ everything before we buy
it. Not a bad idea in theory, but what good does that really do us with
something as pure and beautiful as our child; or our marriage? We don’t get a test
drive with our kids, yet we love them forever (or at least we should), so why
do we feel so obligated to test drive our marriages. Shouldn’t we simply find
the heartbeat and let it grow more and more intense until the day that the
marriage is born?
I will always remember the excitement and joy associated
with my children being born. My love for them grew more and more day by day,
until that day when I was finally able to lay my eyes and hands on them. It
wasn’t having them in my daily life that made me fall in love with them; it was
the anticipation of having them in my
daily life. If we live everyday of our dating life as if we’re married, than
what do we have to look forward to when we finally get married? Where is the anticipation?
I had never given it much thought before, but I didn’t even have sex on my
wedding day. What in the world……why was that? Well, it was because nothing was new,
there was nothing special about it because we had already done it so many times
before. There was nothing to anticipate! (Apologies to my mom if she’s reading
this.)
In writing this my hope is that others reading this will
find that they feel the same way I do and decide that they want to stand strong
in their beliefs and wait. That they will decide that they want that
anticipation that comes with patience and that they want that EXPLOSION of
emotions on that very special day when it all comes together for the very first
time. Even better than that, I hope that others join me in taking a walk on God’s
path to marriage, one that comes with great rewards of grace and mercy.
Psalm 119:9-10
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according
to your word. 10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your
commands. 11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against
you.
No comments:
Post a Comment