*The post with no name*

As I put my thoughts together for this post, I had a couple of names come to mind. Names like “The reason Jesus is crying” and “Will the real Jesus please stand up”. The first seemed a little tacky (and honestly there are a lot more reasons for Him to cry), and the second has already been used. But both of them (as do many others) come to mind when I really sit and think about the things that God has laid on my heart lately.

This evening I saw a story on the news about a pastor that I have a lot of respect for. This pastor has been very instrumental in my walk with Christ by helping me understand what God’s love, mercy, and grace truly mean. The story talked about how this pastor had used his money (made off of the books he writes) to buy a $1.6M home. It wasn’t the story itself that made me really think, but the “Rant’s” that came in afterwards. Many of the comments were bashing this pastor for the way he had spent his money. I can’t lie and say that I totally agree with his decision. I mean let’s face it from the outside looking in, it probably doesn’t look very good. But let’s look at the real issue with what ensued after this story was run.

Many of these comments came from people that may not necessarily believe. And that’s ok. The problem is in the comments from the believers and why the nonbelievers feel the way they do.

“The reason Jesus is crying”-

As a parent, nothing is more frustrating or upsetting than seeing or hearing your kids bully each other. It is one thing to have the kid down the street picking on your son, but when it’s his own brother it’s absolutely devastating. You can easily explain to your son that the kid down the street does not know him enough to truly judge therefore he should brush it off and move on. But when it comes from his brother, who truly knows him, it’s a little bit harder to explain. Matter of fact, it’s almost impossible. The only explanation you can give is that we are all human and that we all make mistakes and will always fall short of the glory of God. But this doesn’t make it any easier; it doesn’t always remove the pain that has already been inflicted.
In the book of Romans Paul writes:
So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For the Scriptures say, “ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow to me and every tongue will confess allegiance to God.’ “ Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. (Romans 14:10-13 NLT)

When I read this tonight I was reminded of all of the judgment and condemning that I see us (Christians) inflicting on one another. Whether it be those who have judged this pastor, those who judge churches because they don’t believe people should be removed from sin through graphic illustrations but rather through a relationship with Jesus Christ, or those who have judged the pastors who bring people to Jesus through the “prosperity” gospel. They are all bringing people to Jesus, and in His eyes we are all believers; we are all brothers and sisters. A family should not fight AMONGST each other; a family should stand hand in hand and fight WITH each other!

“Will the real Jesus please stand up”-

Not only do I believe that it has become harder for others to come to the family of Christ because we fight and argue with each other, but I also believe that we have made it harder because we have taken Him out of the picture. The real reason people are upset about this pastor and his home, is because we have made him out to be this supernatural being that does no wrong; that is without sin. I don’t say that to judge or condemn him but to say, “where is Jesus in this equation?” By putting these high expectations on these pastors (Matthew 23: 8) or any other Christian we have removed the very reason for Christ’s existence. If we were perfect, made no mistakes…….if we were without sin; there would have been no reason for God to send His one and only son to this earth to live a sinless life only to die a devastating death on a cross at OUR hands in OUR name.

WE DO NOT DESERVE THE GRACE THAT WE HAVE RECEIVED AT THE HANDS OF OUR GOD. But He has given us that Grace anyways. He did send His son, and His son did die on a cross. And for that we must show Grace as well. Our duty as a believer is not to hoard every ounce of Love and Mercy and Grace that He showers down upon us. Our duty as a believer is to share it with everyone; the least of these, and the most of these; and bring them into His family.

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

(Matthew 22:37-40)

Unconditional Love

Unconditional: (def.) not subject to a condition or special terms.

We hear a lot about unconditional love. About its importance and how we should strive to share it with those around us. It may be easy to picture when we think about our families; our spouses or our kids or even some of our relatives, but what does it mean when we think about those of the opposite sex that are not related to us?

To be honest with you, up until a few years ago I didn’t know what unconditional love meant outside of family (if I even knew what it meant there). The love I knew with the opposite sex…….well, it was conditional. In return for my love certain things were expected.

When I was about 13 a friend of mine found a large brown paper sack full of pornographic magazines next to the local convenient store dumpster. To the little boys who now had it in their possession, this was a gold mine!! In reality, as a 36 year old divorced father of 3, it was a curse!! You see these magazines were doing more to me than just bringing me pleasure and quick satisfaction; they were shaping my mind and my heart.

I quickly began to see females for their body parts, and not for their hearts. For this very reason it was very hard to have friendships with women. Actually, I didn’t think they were possible or that they really existed, because my mind had been shaped by the images that I had been staring at in those magazines. Sexual attraction accompanied most, if not all of the friendships that I did have.

Now there is a lot of good and bad that I could tell you that happened between now and then, but really to the point of this post it would really just be a lot of filler. The reason why I am writing this is to explain how our minds have been distorted by some of the very things that have given us enjoyment. For men, it may be the same porn magazines that I enjoyed; for women, it may be the love novels, soap operas, or even the glamour magazines (maybe porn as well). No matter what it is, they all have one thing in common…..they change our expectations, the conditions for which our ‘worldly’ love is built. They tell us that we can have something that is not ours for the taking, when we want it and how we want it. And that this, the expectations of our love, is how life is supposed to be.

But when I think about what true unconditional love SHOULD be between a man and a woman, I think about the relationships that were shared between Jesus and the women in his life. Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), the sinful woman (Luke 7:36-50), and the revealing of His resurrection to Mary Magdalene (John 20:11-18) are all fine examples of the blessing He was to the women in His life with no expectations, no conditions. Even when you look at Paul and Silas with Lydia (Acts 16:11-15, 40) you see a relationship with no expectations other than that of a friendship, and a place to stay; with no expectations, no conditions.

My pastor recently did a series on friendships which included a sermon on community. There was nothing about the idea (biblically or otherwise) of friendships or community that excluded members of the opposite sex. Therefore when I read Acts 2:43-47 or Acts 4:32-35 I think about the ways in which we should love each other unconditionally; sharing what is ours (our possessions, our beings) without the expectations of anything in return.

Let’s face it, in a ‘Christian Singles’ world where we are given the idea that we are supposed to sit back and wait until God miraculously brings us our husband or wife in on a glittered unicorn with a bright flashing neon sign above their head that reads “Future Spouse =>” we tend to evaluate every man or woman that comes into our life as if we are looking for that SIGN. In reality all we are doing is throwing away opportunities for real authentic unconditional relationships.

I am not saying that we should not pursue “love”, we should, I believe that God wants that for us. What I am saying though, is let’s stop throwing away good friendships for the pursuit of it. Let’s get past our selfish nature and enjoy the people that God puts in our lives. If something more comes of it than great, but let us not be afraid to step back from that pursuit and look at that person through God’s eyes and love them as our brother or sister. We all have been made with different gifts and abilities, with different characters and personalities; let’s enjoy our differences and learn to live together per His requests, as one huge happy family.